I am perpetually exhausted. My head is hurting, muscles are aching; I’m slaving away in this insufferable heat trying to compress, understand and learn the entire contents of my course from the past 8 months (that I should’ve looked at long ago) within the next 48 hours, running on about 5 hours’ sleep a day, coughing up my internal viscera (yes, anatomy revision!) and barely being able to eat, breathe, THINK. And apart from 45 minutes yesterday, I hadn’t seen my man in 5 days, and now won’t for a further 7 days. So not even a sympathy cuddle is on the cards for a while.

Morale has dipped to an all time low. I’m just looking- no, praying for the motivation (that makes a rare but sudden appearance for all of 20 minutes at 1 or 2 in the morning) to stay, to sink its teeth in and drag me under. There is so much pressure resting on me for this next week, I cannot afford to fuck it up yet WHY am I online doing this?! The only way I can get off this course and out of this hell is to just brace down and get some work done, but all I can do is think about what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

And I am so so fucking sick of her.

Ughhh. I just need to get this over with, get it all out. I’m so sick of it running through my head round and round and round driving me MAD. I’m so tired.